In the Darkest Places

One of the highlights of this past trip to East Asia was praying through a Buddhist temple. I love Asian culture and architecture. I love dragons and lanterns and old buildings. So my reaction to the ancient places and artifacts is not usually sadness. But here in this place, watching people engage in various forms of idol worship, my heart was breaking. I watched as a mother showed her young son how to rub his hands on this golden dragon and transfer it to his eyes and ears and body.

Our host who took us to this particular temple encouraged us to slow down and really observe the people in their worship: the resident monks who chant invitations and the visitors to beg blessings. As I made eye contact with those who would, I asked their Creator to enlighten their hearts and minds with His truth. My strongest memory is standing close to a huge bowl of incense. As the smoke rose in my face and engulfed me, I prayed Revelation 5:8 - our prayers go up before the Lord as golden bowls of incense. What a privilege it was to pray in the moment for the people in EA whom I love.

It was interesting to me that people would place fruit and flowers created by the true God before the images of false gods with no life inside them. Here is a fabulous tree growing in the midst of these vast temple grounds. God's beauty is here. He is watching, loving, calling people who are searching for truth. We prayed that they would have ears to hear.

Just before we left, I borrowed Shala's ipod and listened to Steve Fee's song Who Have I. It is my favorite worship song of late and very fitting lyrically for where we were. I sang, "In the darkest places you are light, in my deadest spaces you're my light..." as those around me carried out their rituals. Just as Suellen and I were talking about the bondage holding people to this form of worship, we looked up to see this dragon on the roof chained to the top of the temple...very telling.

A Girl Named Hope

A little girl sits alone in a restricted area. No one knows her thoughts. No one! I know what awaits her. But I can't tell. It wouldn't be right to tell her a family is filling out papers, paying money, praying to God, all to get her into their family. What if some paper is not filled out correctly and there is another delay? It is not safe to tell her until they are there, in her country, walking through her door, legally her parents.

On this last trip to East Asia we saw alot of kids with little or no hope. The reality is overwhelming. But for one 10 year old girl, there is Hope. That's going to be her new name: HOPE. She doesn't know that. So how does God's compassion play out in the lives of the hopeless? He promises never to put on us more than we can bear. So how exactly does He comfort an orphan whose days are bleak and without hope?

Ahhh...by giving her a new name. Recall how He did that in scripture. When God bestowed a new name on a person, they were changed. They lived up to that name. And so it will be with this child whose very life is unknown to all but a handful of people.

I believe he is comforting this precious girl. She is prayed for by countless people and they speak her name: Hope. How I wish I was allowed to post her picture here for you to see. Her picture is taped to my desk. In this picture, her hands are folded and drawn up to her forehead. She is praying with a teacher in her classroom. I have been told she prays for God to releive her pain.

Please pray for Hope this year? Afterall, isn't it hope that compels us to pray?

Lost but now I see!

Isn't it..."blind but now I see"? Yep. That's it. And, it's "lost but now I'm found". But, I've got a story that combines both of them into one, because they mean the same thing, after all!

Some of you have heard my "contact contract" story. Is it a contract..., a covenant.... I don't know. Whatever it is, about 16 years ago, God performed a miracle for me regarding my contact lens. In the process, He taught me a very valuable life lesson. He told me I would never lose a lens again, and that when I temporarily don't know where one is, I should trust Him because He loves me and He knows all things. While on our unbelievable trip, we flew into one of our stops and prepared to disembark the plane. In the process, my contact lens was knocked out of my eye! My lenses are slightly blue tinted, and the whole interior of the plane was blue.

I was sitting in the middle seat of a three-seat row. I was immediately reminded that God loves me and all of us on this trip, and He was ever present. I, and others with me knew that God was just sending us a message! So, I sat still and everyone looked around me. Everyone else was off the plane waiting on the bus on the tarmac, while we explained to flight attendants what we were doing. We prayed, and it was found so quickly, right under my left thigh! What? It was great! He is so good. He knew that we were walking into a heavy battlefield in this new city, and we all needed to be reminded that He is in control of all things, and He is sovereign over all! I am so grateful that is true, aren't you?
So, what was "lost", was found. And, when I would have been blind, I could see. We were able to see Him so clearly! We would need to be reminded of that.

Our awesome Lord then performed another amazing act on behalf of another team member - "the reappearing bag" act. Look for that to be found on here soon! It'll rock your socks!

Microwave for Growth

Thank you for praying for us! Going overseas on this kind of trip is like God popping you into the microwave for some quick growth, and sometimes healing. This is something I wrote in my journal last Wednesday while sitting in a park in E.Asia, reflecting over the past week.
April 8, 2009

I Have Felt…
So in-tune with my Heavenly Father
So out-of-touch with reality
So carried by Him
So disciplined in love by Him
So grateful for Jesus, for His mercy, love, and grace
So lifted up above the filth and evil that exists in this world
So brought low by my own pride and selfishness that is that same sin
Totally broken
Totally healed
Extremely exhausted
Exponentially energized
Thankful for friends and sisters I have through Him who loves and adopts us
Ashamed of my own inability & unwillingness to love with humility
Waves of guilt
Waves of conviction
Tsunamis of grace and acceptance
The Holy Spirit fill and move in me with love and power
The vacancy of that same love and power due to my own pride and selfishness
My brain on fire with thoughts of Him and His word
My brain turned to mush that engulfs all my thoughts and leaves confusion
Anger that I cannot have my own way
Anger that I cannot control what others believe or feel
Sadness that people don’t know Him and don’t seem to care
Grieved that we live in a fallen, nasty place that will choose death over life
Joy that our God is the Biggest
Joy that He reigns, and it is never too late
Joy that nothing is too big for Him to forgive
Peace that He is with me. Even if no one ‘gets’ me, He does
Peace that we stand victorious in Him
Overwhelmed that He loves all people and He’s in every place and every time
Humility because I do nothing good on my own and without Him I am just dust
So glad that He holds the universe and I hold nothing

Grateful that because He loves me and adopted me, I am not alone, not misunderstood, do not need to worry, do not need to explain, do not need anything but what He can and does freely give me!

Shala

The Same Moon

The round moon I see tonight from my bedroom window is the same moon I gazed at yesterday from the 11th floor picture window overlooking a busy East Asia city. Hard to believe I have traveled so far around the globe in a few hours time. Just two days ago I fell asleep to the sounds of noisy traffic. Tonight I entered a quiet house at 2am to see sweet faces, hear familiar rhythmic breathing as I kiss each sleeping member of my family. Oh, I loved the adventure from which I have just returned. My heart is so full, I must unpack each experience with care. How happy I am to be at home as I sort through all I have seen and heard. It was a fascinating trip. God is alive and active in East Asia. In the days to come, we all will be sharing more of our experiences with you.

4 more days!!

Guys, we leave and board the big bird for the other side of the world in just 4 days!! Crazy. We are all sooooooo excited! Please pray along with us and for us on this amazing journey. If you want to receive prayer requests during our time there, please email me at shala.nolan@gmail.com, because we will not be posting specific requests on this site.
thanks so much for joining with us on this trip!
With His love for the nations,
Shala

Trippin'

Trippin’

Oh, I love to travel, to trip it, to live it!
Amazing places, inspiring people, and life-changing experiences
He loves every individual, family, and nation
And in them He’s moving to bring them to the author of all creation
Whether home or abroad, we take His Word and love with us
He allows us to be a part of His plan and His purpose

Going out where my control cannot be feigned
It’s a painful, yet healing surgery on my heart and my brain
I only pray it’s affect does not wane.

I enjoy the food, smells, sights, and sounds
Everything different, all around
When I sit down of food to partake
Sometimes I don’t recognize what’s on the plate
So, to God I pray, “I know you’re there.
My mind, mouth, and stomach please prepare.”
“It’s not wrong, it’s just different,” I often repeat
When astonished by scenes I wish to change or delete.



I want so badly not to waste the time I’m given
To listen to people, and soak up every minute
But, oh the jet lag - - in the day, I’m dizzily tired
Yet, in wee morning hours, dizzily wired.

Time and my body are not in harmony
Here the stage is set, for God to live and breathe in me
Through a sacrifice of continual praise and abandon
Surrendering my rights, my power, my strength to the great I Am.

These combinations of everything in my world being changed
Give Him astounding freedom to Reign
Such small things that at home, I can do, if I choose
Have now become hills and mountains, unfit for my shoes
It’s both necessary and convenient to let Him carry me
After all that’s one major reason this trip came to be

Seeing and speaking with people who have so little we can see
Less resources, less freedom, and less opportunity
Being sure of what is hoped for and certain of what is not seen
They believe, and they pray with a faith that is keen
I’m left to examine my trust in God and His Word
Dared not to just hear but to do what I’ve heard


His Word becomes solid under my feet
When I walk in faith with each challenge I meet
Some trials spring forth from unexpected places
From people I love who join me in these faith races
In the battle that rages, we’re sometimes caught unaware
And other times, we choose the flesh we can wear
It’s essential to remember that this side of heaven
Perfection is absent, we’re all saints who still sin
Keeping our eyes on Jesus and looking through His
All feelings, our doubts, and insecurities vanish
With brothers and sisters, whatever occurs, one thing can be certain
If we let Him, He’ll weave us together and grow us in Him
It’s His love in us that triumphs and reveals
To all those around us, how His love really feels.

While here in a land whose King is not the Lord
It’s paramount that we fight with the shield and the sword
Often I see more clearly the war that is raging
I’m compelled to kneel down and do battle through praying
Here God’s most powerful work is done
And here we see that the battle is won.
I know and love Him so much more
When I am forced to bow down to the floor
Understanding of Him and of His mysteries is received
Compelled by love to face the nasty residue of flesh to which I cling
I get to see Him up close as I am emptied
And He fills me to use me as His hands, mouth, and feet

Why do I love trips God calls me to travel?
He seems to accomplish 10 times the sanctifying in the battle
He brings Himself glory that blinds me with brightness
And when I come out I’m more conformed to His likeness
As for my affection and friendship with my Father, and Savior
It flourishes and it’s transformed forever
Because of all this, in the dark times that will most definitely come
There’s a bounty of standing stones to which I hold on.

Reality of Heaven

I was innocently driving down the road yesterday morning, when a song came on the radio.  I was immediately struck by the 'Reality of Heaven'.  Does that ever happen to you?  When you are taken to a place almost outside of yourself and your circumstances.  I was overwhelmed with great joy and huge sadness all at the same time.  The song that was playing was 'There Will Be A Day' by Jeremy Camp and the lyrics were 'We will see Jesus face to face'.  And I began to cry thinking about the reality that we WILL get to see Jesus - My Face to His beautiful Face.  This is our reality as Christians.  One day there will be 'no more tears, no more pain, and no more fear'.  And that He, Jesus, will wipe away all our tears and bring us everlasting joy and comfort.  I cried also because in this Life we will have trouble and uncertainty, but we do have hope.  We can HAVE JOY.  Real joy and peace that nothing this world brings us can take away. 

 

And one day we will get to sit with Jesus the lover of our souls.  The Reality is,  Heaven is REAL and through Jesus we do have hope and joy. 

 

Rest with me today in the 'REALITY OF HEAVEN'!  

Prayer for Unity

As we have asked God what we need to be praying about as we prepare for this trip, one of the things that has come up the most is the unity of our team. This sounds a little crazy to all of us, because you would be hard-pressed to find another group of women who love each other so much, warts and all! I mean, if I could hand-pick who I would want to be trapped on a desert island with, I would choose Phil first and then these friends! And we all know each other- really well. It's not like we're just in the "honeymoon" stage of friendship.

So, why is God continually pointing us to diligently pray about the unity of our team? Why has He spent most of His time prior to this trip lovingly-but painfully-pointing out and pulling out of our character things like pride, self-sufficiency, selfishness, insecurity, and laziness?

I don't know the specific answer to that, but I know I can trust Him. Completely. And I know His ways are higher than mine and His Word is flawless: "For the Word of the LORD is right and true; He is faithful in all He does" Psalm 33:4. He knows what is coming, and I don't.

As I have to often remind myself, "God's way, Good. Kirsten's way, Bad." :)

And, we all know the spiritual battle there will be fierce. We will be pushed and challenged. We will need to depend first on God, and we will need each other. We need each other here too, in the everyday, but we can get by without really leaning on one another too deeply.

But when we get over there, we will need each other in a way we have not experienced here in the States. And I think that even though we all know that, it might still be a shock to the system once we are in it.

But more than anything else, I know that the Almighty, Sovereign God is clearing the way through our prayers and yours! So let us continue being, like Paul says, devoted to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Below is Colossians 3:1-17 from the Message (a version of the Bible written in very updated language for ease of understanding). I included it here, and italicized specific things we need prayer for. Would you join us in praying for this mighty work God is preparing to do in East Asia, and the beautiful work He is already doing in all of our hearts? I look so forward to sharing with you all the times we thanked God for preparing us in this particular way!

Colossians 3:1-17 (The Message)
1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
3-4Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
5-8And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.
9-11Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.
12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

To God be the Gloryn now and forever!
Love-Kirsten

Survival Mode

For a long time, I have been in survival mode. It wasn't that I planned to live this way, but it happened. And I wasn't really aware of it, until God let me see something new about myself.

 

If we let Him, God will not leave us the way we are.

 

As some of you know we were fasting last week until Friday. It has been a few days now and He is still pruning - leaving me feeling like "Will there be anything left of me when He is done?". I have fasted before but this time was different. First, I didn't really want to do the fast. In previous fasts that I have done, God gave me a real desire to do it. Previously, I really wanted to fast. This time though, I knew God was asking me to fast, but I didn't really want to.

 

I don't know about you, but when I don't want to do something I can have a bad attitude about it and make sure that everyone knows - because I complain and whine about it. But I had a friend pray that my attitude would change before we started (Thanks Kristin), and now looking back, God is showing me that is what the enemy does, he takes something that God intends for our good and makes it all about us. "How is this 'thing' going to make me feel?" "Will I even like it?" God tells us not to rely on our feelings, but to have faith and walk in obedience; no matter what the situation or how WE feel about it. I am learning that this is a heart issue of what is still in my heart for my own self-preservation. Thankfully, my attitude did change before we started our fast. This was a fast for God to do some much needed pruning so He will get the most glory during our trip and going forward.

 

The second lesson that I learned was furthering my reliance on Him and others. God continues to draw me closer and is teaching me that I have to CHOOSE to rely on Him and others instead of self-reliance. This fast was harder than the ones I have previously done. I was hungry more and had to rely on others to pray for me when I didn't think I could go on. Also, I had to rely on God to focus my attention on Him and what He wanted. Again, God is pruning out self-centeredness, dying to my own agenda and my own happiness. There are things we are called to do that we might not want to do and might not bring us happiness, but they are things God desires us to walk through. To bring us closer to him, the perfector of our faith.

 

So I am praying 'Father, please give me the desire to be obedient no matter what the circumstance and to have the right attitude as I walk through it. Not to just survive, but to let God do the work to prune me to become all that He wants me to be.'

 

Because, after all, it's not about me anyway! 

This fast has been crazy, but in a good way. I am still so heartbroken over the fact that I cannot go but immensely grateful for God's provision with my new job. God has awakened me for the past 2 night with songs of praise on my lips. It is kind of weird waking myself up due to loud singing whether in my head or sometimes even out loud. God is cute this way, he seems to speak to me often in this manner.

At bible study on Tuesday night we were given a handout and thought these words by Elmer Towns were a perfect reminder of how Great is our loving God.

Lord, You are greater than our greatest fear, more powerful than our mighty enemy. I praise You for victory in my life.

Lord, You are more beautiful than our beauty, and more brilliant than our light. I magnify You for knowledge to see and understand.

Lord, You are superior to our best, and more mighty than our strength. I am grateful for Your strength to overcome.

Lord, You are truer than our standard of truth; You are more profound than our wisdom. I worship You with my limited human understanding.

Lord, You are everything and I am nothing; I cannot compare You with anything, for You are above comparison. You are all in all!

Have a wonderful day :)

Friday Fast

Want to join us in fasting this week? We will be fasting until 7 pm Friday, so join us any time this week. We are praying for equipping and preparation for service, awareness of the work of the Spirit and peace in leaving our dear families as we travel. We are praying for the local workers in East Asia with whom we will be serving in April. Praying for their strength and endurance. We are praying they will receive the refreshing of the Spirit, experience the power of the Word of God and recognize the ministry of Jesus in the faces of those they serve. Pray that for us as well!! May these prayers prepare the way for us to walk as one in service with our brothers and sisters in EA.

The Spirit's Burden

Excitement turns to dread. Anticipation turns to fear. What happened? Is this a sign that I am heading in the wrong direction? No! It could be that my commitment to carry a burden is being tested. Throughout our journey with Christ, the Spirit gives us burdens to bear for others. This year six of us are carrying our burden to East Asia. Sometimes our burden bearing turns to a battle and we can second guess our calling. But in reality, we are just getting closer to understanding the depth of the burden.

Listen to what Streams in the Desert says...
"The time of testing that distinguishes and greatly enriches a person's spiritual career is not an ordinary one but a period when it seems as if all hell were set loose. It is a time when we realize our soul is caught in a net, and we know God is allowing us to be gripped by the devil's hand. Yet it is a period that always ends in certain triumph for those who have committed the keeping of their souls to God. And the testing "later on...produces a harvest of righteousness and peace." Hebrews 12:11

Right after Jesus was baptized and the Spirit descended upon him as a dove and God's voice confirmed his identity for all present to hear, Jesus was led out into the desert of testing. I think Mark 1:9-13 is too brief in description of this glorious event. We can read right over it without noticing the majesty of all three persons of the Trinity being present. We are baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. So many times we've heard that phrase that maybe we don't hear it. However, if we see with clarity what is happening when we are baptized allow ourselves to feel the Spirit descending upon us, we just might recognize it as equipping.

This quote by George Matheson is referring to that passage in Mark. "Nothing but the Son's vision can equip you to carry the Spirit's burden, and only the glory of the baptism can withstand the hunger of the desert."

What was Jesus' vision for the world he came to save? Can I go out today and love people in my world like that? Am I allowing myself to be equipped to carry His burden?

Rest

I love to read. So, of course, in preparation for this trip, I'm reading :) Right now, it's "Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret". I am amazed by this book and the faith of this man that helped so many people know Christ's love and forgiveness!

In one part of the book, an Asian man was walking by an open door where Mr. Taylor was preaching, and was drawn inside. This man was very interested in spiritual things- he had been searching and had done all he knew his whole life in order to please “the gods”. After hearing Mr. Taylor’s words- the powerful, soul-stirring Truth of the Good News-he came to Mr. Taylor and said this:

“I have long sought the truth, but without finding it. I have traveled far and near, but have never searched it out. In Confuciansim, Buddhism, Taoism, I have found no rest. But I do find rest in what I have heard tonight. Henceforth, I am a believer in Jesus.”

Those words brought tears to my eyes when I read them. I, too, after years of searching and yearning for something I didn’t know- going from pleasure to pleasure in a vain attempt to distract myself from this need I didn’t know how to fill- can honestly say-in Jesus, I have found rest.

I remember times when I was too aware of the void in my soul. These were times when unexpected quiet would settle around me…when I would find myself in an unanticipated moment of being without the distraction. Or, when I had just accomplished something I had worked really hard for, and I would feel the moments of elation and excitement, and then only minutes later be thinking, “Ok, now what? Is this all there is?”

I understand now that God, in His love for me, was orchestrating those moments. He was forcing me to feel the pain of looking into the face of my gaping emptiness. He wanted me to really SEE my need for Him so I would be moved to do something about it. Like when I feel hunger, I start to look for something to eat.

At first, I looked for “food” in all the wrong places. I, like the man in this story, searched out other religions. I studied them, read about them, and even tried them…to no avail. I found nothing there- no power, only more emptiness and self-effort.

As I searched, I asked, “God, if you are real, please show me!”

One day, not long after I started saying that prayer, I walked into a church. It was different than any I had ever been in before, and the words I heard there drew me like nothing ever had- just like the Asian man was drawn to the Truth in Hudson Taylor’s message.

I knew I was finally, finally hearing what was True. I can’t explain how I knew- I just did. Something deep inside me that had lain dormant was stirred like never before. I felt a deep hope. I couldn’t get enough. And as I researched the Bible that talked about this God- this God who seemed too good to be true- it only proved His faithfulness, unfailing love, justice, and perfection time and time again. With Him, there is power. The power of love that raised His Son from the dead.

I am so grateful, beyond words, for that terrible emptiness! It led me to Someone more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, and I know I haven’t even scratched the surface of getting to know Him. And in His Good News, I have found rest.

In His Grip,
Kirsten

Ways You Can Pray For Us

1. We would be surrendered to Him as He prepares us for the trip- in mind, body and spirit. We would trust in Him with all our hearts and not rely on our understanding, acknowledge Him in all our ways and He will make our paths straight! Provide for all of our team financially.

2. God would provide for the needs of our families while we are gone.

3. He would unify us in mind and spirit so there will be no hindrance to our prayers, and that we would be faithful in filling our minds with His word and spending time in prayer before we go.

4. East Asia:
· He would encourage the hearts of the laborers we are visiting, deepen their walks withHim, and further their work.
· He would give us safe travels and healthy bodies while there.
· He would give us wisdom in how to pray and serve.
· He would orchestrate unexpected opportunities to share Him with
those who do not know Him – in cabs or on the street, campuses.

God is so COOL! I love how He fills our lives with unexpected surprises. Yesterday I was chatting with a very close friend of mine, Kara. She is not a believer but has a wonderful and gentle spirit. For 5 years I have been pouring into her life in hopes that Christ would become the center of her world. She has always known of my love for God and missions which has aroused her curiosity. As our conversation continued, out of the blue she said that she was going to join me at Trinity on Sunday. I have asked her to go to church with me several times before but she always had an excuse. I could not believe it! My heart leaped for joy! She had a positive experience; I hope that she will continue to step out of her comfort zone to embrace the life Jesus longs to give her.

I am still in awe that we can be used as instruments for God by simply being ourselves. He LIVES in us and through us and that LIFE speaks louder than any words we express, left up to me they are just words that get lost in translation. God knows just where to place each of us so we can partner with Him in growing His kingdom. God loves to show off for us, but it is up to us to let go and let God do His thing.

God has the whole world in His hands! We can rest in knowing that He is our gentle Shepherd and we are His flock. No matter how far the sheep are spread out He will always finds a way to SHINE.

~HIS~

I never cease to be amazed by God's goodness. This week has been both exciting and bittersweet. For 5 months my friends and family have been praying that I would find  job and this week God answered the need. Regretfully I will not be able to accompany my friends on their amazing mission to East Asia, my heart was crushed. In this crazy economy God showed favor on me and I am incredibly grateful, I did not expect to be so sad about not getting to go on our upcoming trip. I fell in love with East Asia 7 years ago and have been trying to find my way back ever since, it is simply a matter of time. God has given me peace about the trip for He has His perfect team in place with 5 of my wonderful friends.

 I am so thankful to know this AMAZING group of ladies! Each of them displays a deep love of our Father which is to be admired and followed. It is a privilege to be a child of our gracious KING! I love how He commissions us to be His hands and feet in every situation. What an honor! I cannot wait to hear how God reveals Himself to each of my friends in a way only unique to them. This trip is going to be incredible, a journey of a lifetime. I know without a doubt lives will be forever changed. SHINE ON GIRLS!! I love you all.

Totally and Completely HIS...

Traci 

Signs

I have been absolutely blown away with the people who have chosen to give to this trip. I find myself without words- I have wanted to write about this for a couple of weeks but literally have not known what to say. I still don’t think I can do it justice. Who can explain the things God does with any real accuracy?

I’ve gotten tears in my eyes several times as I opened envelopes with checks and well wishes, or gotten news of an online donation. I am stunned by people’s generosity. I am brought to my knees by God’s faithful, abundant provision….over and over again.

Right from the beginning, I have been questioning God about this trip. First, it seemed too good to be true (it still does). To get to go and do His work, with some of my closest, dearest friends….who know I am a picky eater and get cranky with no sleep and overwhelmed by too much time with people….and love me anyway? But, at that time, Phil still wasn’t sure. I knew this was not something I needed to push- if God wanted me to go, then He would work it out. I believed that…or so I thought.

Then, one day after some circumstances had changed, Phil surprised me by saying, “Well, I guess this means you can go to East Asia.” I cheered! This was awesome! I was really going to get to do this!

Theeeeeeeeeeen came the next morning. Instead of excitement, I felt overwhelming fear. Like felt physically sick with it. What was I DOING? Was I crazy? I am a mother of young children. It’s my job to take care of them and keep them safe and teach them and love them. Nobody can do that like me! Was I totally irresponsible to leave them behind? What if something happened to me? And I’m a wife. It’s my job to be here for my husband, to support him and build him up and love him and pray for him. And the money? How on earth would I raise this money in this economy? And…oh….people would think I’m NUTS. Well, okay so they already think I’m nuts, but now they’re going to think I’m more nuts.

So I TOLD God. I TOLD Him, GOD- You need to give me a really clear sign if You want me to do this crazy thing! I mean, could You please be clearer because I am not doing this thing unless You are the One behind it. Because if You are not, this won’t work!

I’m sure God just loves when I tell Him what to do. Especially when I spell out the steps, just in case He didn’t know which order they should be done.

When God tells me something, it’s not in an audible voice. But, I just know that I know that I know that it’s Him, because it’s something I would never have thought to say at that moment. It feels like it comes out of left field… but yet it makes total sense. And, it’s always gentle and full of grace, even if it’s hard to hear. I am always so humbled- and surprised- that He doesn’t just yell at me and say “Away with you and your doubts!” He always brings me back to Himself by His love, never with guilt trips, condemnation, or anger. He really is the Good Shepherd.

This time, I felt Him saying so clearly, “Kirsten- Kylie and Evie and Phil are Mine. I created this world and everything in it, I can take care of them and you.” He also showed me over the next couple of days that He had been letting me know- really clearly- that He did want me to go...for about a month! I literally laughed out loud when I saw all the ways He had been making it clear, and I just hadn’t been paying attention. I had prayed for it, but then I never looked to see if He was answering.

Almost like I didn’t expect Him to answer.

Funny what you don’t see when you’re not looking.

Power in Weakness

I just love this devotional from "Dear Jesus" by Sarah Young. I'm just writing it here. It is a prayer she prays, and then how God speaks to her.
My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not a lack of faith, they are links to My Presence.
Dear Jesus, My journey is indeed one of faltering steps. Today I feel as if it's a challenge just ot take the next step. I find it all too easy to be aware of my neediness. If I didn't know You were with me, I would despair. I confess that I sometimes get discouraged about my ongoing weaknesses. I know that dependence on You brings spiritual blessings, yet at times I feel trapped by my limitations.
Beloved, awareness of your need for Me creates a strong connection to My Presence. My Power flows into you continually: it gives you strength to take the next faltering step, strength to resist discouragement and despair, strength to know Me in intimate dependence. Only My Power can provide such strength, enabling you to live abundantly in the midst of your limitations. Your day-to-day perseverance, in dependence on Me, is every bit as supernatural as an outright miracle. Because you are My beloved child, I choose to bless you. However, I bless you in ways that are unique to your needs and My design for you. Your difficulties do not signify lack of faith or lack of blessing. They are means to help you stay on the path I have chosen for you. Though the way before you may be steep and rocky, it is nonetheless the path of Life. It is where you encounter My luminous Presence - radiating Peace that transcends your limitations.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, thought the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights. " Habakkuk 3:17-19
also Jude 1:24-25

The 6 Chopstix

A Burden to Pray

Prayer can change alot of things. I am particularly intrigued by how it can redirect itself. This is done subtly, over time. So if I am not committed to carry a burden, it may be crowded out by interruptions before I ever see it take new shape.

Tonight Traci and I joined a room full of past team members to hear Matt and Michelle talk about the kids they work with in the orphanage. We had a powerful time of prayer for our E. Asia GlobalX partners, their family, local staff and the children they serve. As people prayed in circles all over the room, a prayer was lifted up that redirected my thinking. Danny prayed for the few to take the message to many. Let me explain. The orphanage classrooms in which our friends work are for children with disabilities. There are many children living in the government run orphanage. But only a select few are allowed to take part in Christian classroom environment. The ones who do get to go, learn to laugh and sing, care for themselves, even walk. So when Danny prayed for the kids tonight, he prayed that these few who are learning about the love of Christ would not only find healing, but would take that light back into the dark, quiet halls of the orphanage. I have spent time with several of these kids. I have received their smiles and joined in their laughter. And I have no doubt God can bring healing to their hearts and they will share the love of Christ with other hurting kids who may never get out. As we prayed, I could envision smiles, laughter, brightness spreading through the gloomy halls filling the rooms full of bedridden children.

Isn't that powerful? These kids can share the love of Christ with other children whom none of us will ever see.

Here is how my thinking was redirected. As we were praying, I was struck with the reality of heaven being our home. All this is temporary and short lived. Most of these kids will never get out. The hope is that a few will be adopted. But there also has to be the hope that healing will take place right where they are. Can you imagine being one of these kids and reading Romans 8:18? Heaven is their hope. Jesus is their future.

I have carried a burden for one of these kids for a year and a half. We call him Israel. What I want for him is a home, a place where he can heal, love and be loved. The day I met him, I knew God had a reason for it. I have to admit that since God gave me the burden, I thought this boy would have a home by now. When I go back in April, it will be my third visit to his orphanage. And he will still be there. I get frustrated that I haven't found a family who would want him; that God hasn't raised up a family. He's such an awesome kid. I've told everyone I know about him. This past year I have heard stories of how he picks out clothes for some of the less mobile kids. He wants them all to match. When the teachers are on holiday, he marks the days on the calendar so the mentally disabled kids can get a grasp on when they will go back to school. He is a caring boy. And it hurts my hurt that he cannot experience the warmth of a loving home. But over time, as I pray for Israel, God has shown me that healing can take place right where he is because there are local believers who speak his language who teach him every day.

I still hope Israel finds a home. But now I pray God will heal him right where he is; all of his scars of being unwanted and memories of abandonment. I pray he will continue to carry hope to the kids around him. I pray he will receive Christ as his Savior and that the joy of the Lord will be his strength.